


Steve and Bucky oneshots

by UndertheWeather15



Category: Captain America, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:07:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26332384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UndertheWeather15/pseuds/UndertheWeather15
Summary: These are just some oneshots if Steve and Bucky
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

Steve looked up at the large and powerful Titan above him. He could still feel the lingering pain of pieces of his now-broken shield cutting into his arm.

Breathing hard, he stood up on shaky legs and unbuckled and removed the broken shield from his arm.

He visibly flinched as pain shot through his body. Steve knew that he was the only one left standing. Thor and Tony has been taken down.  
And the majority of them had been snapped away previously.

So he stood before Thanos and his giant army. He intended to take on the entire army on his own, although he knew that wouldn’t end well. Of course, it would kill him.

But that’s the only thing he could do. Everyone else was counting on him.

Until there was a sudden faint voice.

“Cap, it’s Sam. Can you hear me?”

On instinct, Steve froze.

Sam had died. It couldn’t be him.

“On your left.”

Captain America turned to see a familiar orange portal appear. And then he saw T’Challa, Shuri, and Okoye. 

At first, he couldn’t believe it. He and T’Challa looked at each other. The Wakandan King nodded, and then Sam appeared.

As Steve looked around in shock and awe, he noticed hundreds of other portals forming, and people who had been snapped away reappeared. Steve kept a keen eye out for Bucky, wanting anxiously to make sure he was okay.

He made out Doctor Strange appearing from one of the larger portals near him, followed by Mantis, Drax, Quill, and the Queens kid. Then, more Wakandan tribes appeared. A few portals away, he finally spotted Bucky, along with Thor and the Valkyrie and a few others, which included Wanda.

“Is that everyone?” Steve heard Doctor Strange ask.

“Like you wanted more?”

And then Ant-Man burst out of the wreckage of the Compound, along with Rhodey, Rocket, and Banner.

Steve turned, looking at Thanos and his army. He noticed the surprised look on the Titan’s face and smiled.

“Avengers...” He shot his arm out and Mjolnir came flying into his palm. 

He glanced at Bucky and grinned.

“Assemble..”

Thor was the first to cry out, followed by everyone else as they charged.

Deep inside, Steve knew that this would be his final battle. One which he’d never make it out of.

He was fighting many of the creatures that made up Thanos’s army. Although his shield had been broken beyond repair, he still had Thor’s previous weapon, Mjolnir. 

He wasn’t completely defenseless.

With a wave of strength, he swung the hammer, sending a creature flying as lighting shot down from the sky and struck 5 more.

He grinned and continue to push his attack. It was pure chaos, though. There were people fighting everywhere and it was extremely crowded.

Thanos had to die.

Near the end of the battle, things started to take a turn for the worst. But then Captain Marvel showed up and things began to look up. But then it changed again.

Steve felt anxiety throughout the entire thing. He received quite a few injuries, some worse than others.

But then Thanos struck a fatal blow to his abdomen. He felt all the air start to drain from his chest as he stumbled back, blood leaking from his wound. 

He barely felt when he hit the ground. And then Thanos left him for dead. He had no idea what else was going on, as he could barely move.

“Help...” He rasped, though no one seemed to be close enough to hear or see him. 

A violent cough pushed out of his throat, spilling more blood. He had at least a few minutes left to live, unfortunately.

And then after a few moments, things went quiet.

A deadly, unsettling quiet.

But Steve noticed, from what he could see, Thanos’s army turning to dust.

They did it..

They won. They actually won..

A small, weak groan escaped him. He’d probably die here, alone. Like he knew he would.

Until he heard Bucky shouting for him.

“Steve!”

Steve tried to respond, but all that came out was a small rasp. “O-Over here..”

Bucky didn’t hear him, but continued to yell. “Steve! Where are you?”

Steve heard Bucky’s voice closing in, until he saw him. Of course, the man hadn’t spotted him yet. 

But it wasn’t long before he did. And Steve saw the pure terror spread across his face.

“STEVE!”

It was mere seconds before Bucky crashed to his knees next to him. His hands went to his face first, before they lowered down toward his wound, shaking.

“Oh god..o-oh god..” Bucky gently pressed his hands onto the wound, causing a strangled yell of pain to emit from Steve’s throat.

Bucky quickly lifted Steve into his arms, feeling the hot tears pouring down his face.

“S-Steve..”

Steve coughed hard, then reached a shaking hand up toward his friend’s face. A small smile formed on his face.

“B-Buck..y..”

“You’ll—You’ll be okay..” Bucky reassured him, holding his friend tighter. “D-Don’t worry..”

Sam was the next to find them. “Steve—?”

His eyes went wide when he spotted the metal-armed Winter Soldier holding a bloodied and fatally injured Steve in his arms.

“Oh my god, Steve!” He rushed over as well, kneeling down next to Bucky. “What the hell happened?”

Bucky looked over at him, tears staining his face. Sam had never seen the man look so scared.

“I-I don’t know..I-I found him like t-this..” He swallowed. “P-Please help him..please..you have to help him!”

Sam felt his heart throb at the desperation in Bucky’s voice, although he knew that Steve was going to die by just looking at him.

He shook his head sadly with tears in his own eyes. “I’m sorry..”

Bucky shook his head and looked back at his friend, who was gasping for air and trembling. “No..no, he’ll be fine..he’s gonna—S-Steve!” He shook him, as the man’s eyes were starting to slide closed. But they snapped open again.

“B-Buck..I-I won’t...y-you know I..I’m gonna die..” Steve managed to croak out, earning a choked-sob from his best friend. 

“No! No you’re not gonna die! I-I won’t let you..” Bucky yelled out in denial, clutching him tighter.

Steve reached out weakly and gripped Bucky’s hand. “I’m s-sorry...”

His breathing started to slow as he turned his head toward Sam.

“S-Sam...”

Sam went closer, sitting down on his knees next to his friend. “Y-Yeah, man?”

“I-I want you to..to be Captain America...” Steve struggled to say, wheezing. “The world..needs him..”

Sam shook his head. “Steve..Steve I-I can’t..You’re supposed to be Captain America.”

Steve smiled weakly. “I know you got what it takes..you’ll be great..”

Sam sighed and continued to wipe the tears from his eyes. “Alright..alright..”

Steve’s face slowly started to drop. Bucky panicked

“Stay with me, Steve..Steve, d-don’t go..”

“It’ll be okay, Buck..” the man breathed. 

“N-No..I don’t want you to leave me..”

Steve smiled sadly. “I’m with you..til the end of the l-line, pal..”

Bucky sobbed. “Please..”

And then Steve was gone. His chest stilled, and his eyes were gazing lifelessly at the sky.

“Steve! Steve, no!” Bucky lowered his head to his friend’s chest and sobbed. “Don’t leave me...don’t l-leave..please..d-don’t leave me!”

Sam placed his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry, man..I know how it feels..”

Bucky continued to sob, pounding his metal fist on the ground. “Steve! Steve...”

He lifted Steve’s body into his arms and rocked back in forth while continuing to sob.

“N-No...Steve..”

They had lost Tony and Steve.

“Hey..” Sam coaxed him into releasing Steve and pulled him into a hug. “I’m so sorry..”

“He was always here..” Bucky sobbed.

“I know..” Sam whispered. “I know..”


	2. HYDRA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is determined to find and rescue Bucky.

"Steve, are you sure you want to see this?" Natasha asked as she knelt down to slide the CD into its respective slot. Steve was sat in a chair beside her, staring intently at the TV.

"I'm sure."

Sighing in defeat, Natasha slid the small, circular disk into the slot. Images began to flicker across the screen and voices could be heard, although it was hard to make out the words they were speaking. But Steve continued to watch.

At first, the screen showed a row of Hydra soldiers saluting and yelling out in sync, and then it flickered to a security tape that showed the entirety of a small, jail-like room. It was completely empty except for the extremely small bed that was located against the back wall.

Voices could be heard shouting in the background before the sound of a door being opened caught Steve's attention. Bucky's familiar figure was shoved into the room and the door slammed shut.

Steve felt his heart sink as he took in Bucky's ragged form. His hair was a mess, but still like it was when Steve last saw him. 

Right before he fell.

A bloodied grin was spread across the man's face. "Like hell you'll ever break me."

Steve couldn't help but let out a smile. That was definitely Bucky.

As he turned, Steve noticed that he already had his metal arm. 

"Trust me," a man, out of view of the camera, spoke in the background. "You're not getting out of there until you cooperate."

Bucky laughed, then scowled. "Well, too bad. Because I never will. My friend will find me and when he does, you'll regret it."

A scoff quickly followed. "Pfft. You think Captain America is going to save you?"

"Of course he will," Bucky said. "He saved me before."

Steve noticed the piece of paper that was slid into the cell. "Think again."

Bucky gently picked up the piece of paper and stared at the cover. Steve saw his expression morph into one of complete despair. The camera was angled perfectly, just so Steve could read the cover.

' Captain America presumed dead after plane crash in the Arctic. '

He felt his heart drop. Bucky found out that he wasn't coming.

"No.." His voice was so small that Steve barely heard it. "This c-can't...this isn't true!" He looked up at his captor, a pleading look to tell him that this was all some cruel joke showing on his face.

"Unfortunately, it is," the man said. "As I said, no one is coming for you."

Steve heard footsteps receding and then heard a broken sob tear itself free from Bucky's throat.

"Steve..." Bucky clutched the piece of paper to his chest as if it would somehow bring the man back. "S-Steve, please..."

But he was met with a still silence.

"I-I'm so s-sorry, Steve.." Bucky sobbed. "I shouldn't have been so stupid.."

Steve watched in pure heartache as Bucky rocked back and forth, repeating his name over and over. Steve wanted so desperately to reach out to him, telling him and assuring him that he was okay, that he was still alive.

But he knew he couldn't.

"Steve..." Bucky kept pleading for him to come back, even after the door to his cell was opened. The paper was yanked from his grip.

"NO!" The man screamed. "GIVE IT BACK!"

The men that had taken it laughed. "There's no point. No one is going to rescue you. So you better make yourself comfortable."

"B-But, Steve-!" Bucky whimpered hopelessly.

"Steve isn't coming for you," one of the two men growled. 

Bucky lowered his head, another sob wracking his body. He let the two men drag him from the room, and that's where the recording ending.

Steve stood up, grabbed the entire thing, and threw it at the wall.

Natasha quickly made to grab his arm. "Steve, stop!"

"Those damn bastards," the super-soldier growled. 

"I know how much Barnes means to you," Natasha said. "I really do. But destroying things isn't going to do anything."

As soon as she said that, an idea sparked into Rogers' head.

He was going to find Bucky.

Natasha had obviously tried to stop him, but eventually let him go, clearly seeing that arguing with Steve was going to get absolutely nowhere.

It took a while to get a lead on the Winter Soldier. It took him a full year until he could actually pinpoint where he could be.

By the time he arrived outside of the building, there were Hydra guards practically everywhere. He took them out with ease and snuck inside, taking out a few in there as well before pausing and cautiously peering around the corner to listen to the conversation. His heart dropped when he saw his friend.

"The man on the bridge.." Bucky muttered, looking up at Pierce. "Who was he?"

"You met him earlier this week on another assignment," Pierce replied.

Bucky looked deep in thought for a moment. "I knew him.."

Steve felt a twinge of hope spark in his chest.

But the speech Pierce had given after that statement made Steve want to kill him even more.

"But I knew him.." Bucky muttered.

One of the scientists there nudged Pierce. "He's been out of cryo freeze too long.

"Then wipe him, and start over," Pierce ordered, then turned and left the room.

Steve noticed the pure fear and confusion on Bucky's face. And as soon as Pierce was out of sight, he lunged forward and grabbed two of the Hydra operatives by the head and slammed them together before letting them drop to the floor.

The others noticed the noise and spun around as the door was kicked open. They all aimed their guns and fired at him, but he managed to dodge out of the way and take them down quickly. He noticed Bucky looking as well, surprise written all over his features.

Soon, most of the men were unconscious except for Rumlow, who stood facing him with a dagger.

"Don't do it, Rogers," He growled.

Steve shook his head and turned toward Bucky. 'He's my friend. And you stripped everything away from him for your own twisted purposes!" He lunged and landed a punch on the side of Rumlow's head. The man was unconscious instantly, and Steve stood there, breathing heavily for a moment. Bucky's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"I know you.."

Steve turned around and walked over to him, relief and sadness written all over his face as he undid the binds keeping the Winter Soldier strapped to the chair.

"Yeah.." He said. "You do."

Bucky looked up at him, eyes wide.

Steve smiled softly and pulled him up, keeping a comforting hand on the man's shoulders. "Don't worry, you'll remember. It takes time."

He noticed Bucky visibly relax, though still unsure.

"What's your name..?" Bucky asked. And although it hurt for Steve to hear his life-long best friend ask that question, he understood.

"Steve. Steve Rogers."

A flicker of recognition crossed his eyes and he stilled, memories flashing across his vision, he gripped onto Steve's arm tightly with his flesh one. "Y-You...you were smaller.."

Steve grinned. "Sure was."

Bucky got a good luck at him again. "Then why are you so big?"

Steve laughed. "Long story. We should get out of here before they wake up, or before-"

"I figured you'd show up sooner or later," Pierce's voice rang throughout the room. And both Steve and Bucky flinched and turned at the sound.

"Pierce.." Steve growled. "I'm not letting you take him again. Not after what you did to him."

Pierce smiled. "I think you misunderstand...He's not the same person he was."

"So?" Steve asked. "He's still my friend, and always will be. And I'm not going to let you wipe him of everything he knows."

Bucky stood behind Steve, his eyes wide in fear. Steve rarely, if at all, saw him this vulnerable. But after everything he endured, it wasn't much of a surprise.

Pierce pulled out a gun, Steve shoved Bucky to the side as a gunshot went off. Steve felt a slight sting of pain at his side before he ran toward Pierce, who fired another bullet.

Steve jumped out of the way, but another bullet quickly came after, striking him in the abdomen, but he didn't notice.

He leaped forward and slammed Pierce against the wall, grabbing the gun from him aggressively and aiming it at his chest. "This is for what you did to him."

He pulled the trigger.

Everything after that was a blur. His vision had started to swim and the pain soon overtook him as he placed a hand at his side, he pulled it away with blood and out of the corner of his eye he noticed Bucky's expression shift to horror.

Steve fell to his knees, but a pair of arms wrapped around him before he could fall completely.

Looking up with blurred vision, he faintly noticed Bucky's face above him.

He reached up a shaking hand and felt a small squeeze before his vision went black.

Steve woke up to extreme pain in his abdomen. It was bad enough that it limited his movements. When he attempted to sit up, the pain worsened, and he let out a small gasp.

"Steve?"

He looked toward the familiar voice and saw Bucky walking toward him, albeit nervous. "Are-Are you okay?" 

Steve attempted to get up, but failed yet again. Bucky helped him.

"I think I'll be good.." He grunted. "How about you?"

The man sighed and looked down, tears forming at the edges of his eyes. "S-Steve..I'm sorry-"

"What? What for?" Steve asked, turning toward him while his hand laid over the bandage wrapped around his stomach.

"I hurt you.." Bucky muttered. 

Steve blinked in surprise. "Wha-Bucky, no. This isn't your fault. Pierce is the one who shot me."

"But if I wasn't there, you wouldn't have had a reason to come.." Bucky muttered, ashamed.

Steve reached out to pull Bucky in for a hug but stopped. He yelled out in pain and recoiled, wrapping his arms around his mid-section.

Bucky's eyes widened and his arms shot out to steady him. "Steve?"

"'m fine.." the super-soldier gasped, recovering quickly enough. He pulled Bucky back into a hug. 

The man was surprised at first, but leaned into the embrace And soon, a broken sob tore free from his throat.

Steve could only rub circles on his back and mutter comforting words. 

But at least he had Bucky back.


	3. Losing your memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve doesn’t save Bucky when he’s first captured and he’s turned into the Winter Soldier early.

Somehow, Bucky knew that this would be the last time he saw Steve. Something deep inside his gut was telling him that something would happen.

He sighed heavily, going to turn around. Steve would definitely not survive in the army. But he was a stubborn little punk.

“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back..” He said.

“How can I?” Steve asked in reply. “You’re taking all the stupid with you.”

Bucky’s chest was aching now as he turned back toward his friend. A small, weak smile formed on his face as he walked up to his best friend and wrapped him in a gentle hug. “You’re a punk..”

“Jerk,” Steve said in return.

They pulled apart and Bucky sighed. “Seriously, though. Don’t do anything stupid.”

Steve only grinned, which quickly turned into a frown as he watched Bucky walk away.

“Be careful. And don’t win the war until I get there!”

Bucky turned back and saluted, before he headed back toward the girls.

_________________

His bad feeling ended up being true. They were attacked with some sort of futuristic weapon. Bucky was beyond freaked out when he saw what it did to his comrades.

Quickly enough, everything went black. 

It was a few days in, he was being experimented on and it hurt like hell. He found that his memory was fuzzy some days.

Until he couldn’t remember anything at all.

______________

Upon hearing that the 107th was captured, Steve’s instinctive reaction was to go after them.

The HYDRA base wasn’t as hard to infiltrate as he had previously thought, but the inside was confusing to navigate. 

He was rushing through a wide range of corridors, finding nothing but empty rooms. Some he didn’t want to know their uses for.

“Bucky?!” He yelled into the dimly lit hall. His voice bounced off of the walls, echoing around uselessly.

He sighed and continued to look.

Until a fist collided with the side of his face and he went flying into the wall. The impact stunned him for a moments before he looked up.

And felt his heart stutter to a stop.

“Bucky?”

He rubbed his head and stood up. There was no recognition in the man’s eyes.

Fear washed over him.

Bucky suddenly tackled Steve to the ground, slamming his fist into his face repeatedly. Steve was too surprised to try to block it. But it hurt like hell.

Steve felt unconsciousness tugging at him violently, but he managed to kick his friend off of him and get to his feet.

The man threw another punch but Steve dodged, grabbing the man’s wrist. But Bucky, with an incredible amount of strength, flipped him over and slammed him to the floor. He slid a knife from his pocket and raised it up.

“Bucky!” Steve yelled. “Bucky, please. It’s Steve!”

Something flashed behind the man’s eyes, and his brows furrowed in confusion. “Steve? He said it as if he knew. His gaze was locked on the man’s beaten face.

The knife paused just above Steve’s heart.

Recognition suddenly flashed behind the man’s eyes. He looked down at the knife he was about to kill his friend with and recoiled as if he had been struck. He flung the knife into the wall.

“Oh god—Oh my god, Steve—!”

Steve quickly sat up, breathing harshly.

“I-I hurt-oh god..” Bucky was trembling as he looked over Steve’s larger form. When did he get so big? 

He wouldn’t worry about that right now.

Steve was the first to lung forward and envelop Bucky in a tight hug.

The man was caught by surprise, before he wrapped his arms tightly around Rogers’ torso.

“I-I almost killed you..” He muttered. “I could—I would have..”

“I hurt you..” Bucky whimpered.

“It’s okay,” Steve reassured. “It will heal.”

Bucky pulled back and ran a finger over a bruise on his friend’s face.

He did that.

“I-I’m sorry..”

And then a HYDRA soldier came around the corner, gun aimed. It was a normal gun.

But it would still hurt.

On instinct, Bucky jumped to his feet and in front of Steve just as the first and very quick shot went off, followed by another.

Bucky’s body jerked. He looked down at the blood starting to leak out of two nickel-sized wounds in his abdomen.

He turned his head to look at Steve, smiling weakly. His friend’s face was filled with complete horror.

Another shot went off. Bucky fell.

Roaring in rage, Steve threw the shield at the HYDRA soldier, striking them in the head and knocking them unconscious.

He quickly lifted up Bucky’s bleeding and trembling form from the ground. “Oh my god—Bucky, why the hell did you do that?”

“Y-You would have..got hit..” Bucky said in between gasps. “I-I couldn’t let..them..”

Steve shook his head, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. “N-No..I just..I just got you back..”

Bucky reached a shaking hand out and gripped Rogers’.

“Steve...”

Steve looked down, eyes filling with tears.

Bucky wanted to wipe that look right off of his face.

“I-I...didn’t want you..to get hurt..” Bucky gasped out, clinging to Steve like a lifeline. There were tears in his own eyes. “I’m sorry..”

“Don’t be,” Steve muttered. 

Bucky smiled, blood dripping down his lip.

“Don’t leave, please..” Steve begged. “Not again.”

That hit Bucky harder than he expected it to. And now he didn’t want to leave his friend. He had already left him twice, if not three times.

“Til’ the end of the line, remember?” Steve’s voice broke. 

Bucky coughed out harshly. “..til the end..of the line..”

And then he went limp.

Steve sat there, numb for a few moments, before letting out a grief-stricken yell.

Then broke out into sobs.


	4. War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is fatally wounded in battle and Steve finds out and is determined to see him.

Steve watched as Bucky turned and disappeared into the sea of people. He knew that he should have went with him. It was his last day after all, until he deplored to England.

Steve didn’t admit that he was scared, but he was. He was worried that Bucky wouldn’t come back.

So he turned and headed back to attempt to get into the army for like the 100th time. Not literally, of course. 

It was a few weeks later, not long before Steve’s procedure, when he received the news.

Bucky had been fatally wounded and was struggling to cling onto life.

Steve felt his heart drop and he might as well have gone into an asthma attack. He was terrified that this would happen. And it did.

But Bucky was practically the only best friend he had. 

So he made a decision. He’d go and see Bucky, even if it meant he had to miss the procedure.

It took about a day and a half before he finally figured out a way to get to England. He grabbed his jacket and wrapped it around his thin frame before sneaking aboard a ship. The journey would likely be a while, but during that time Steve would try to rest.

Hopefully he didn’t get himself sick.

He hadn’t even realized he had fallen asleep until he was opening his eyes to daylight. He hadn’t been caught, fortunately, and they were nearing port.

Once the ship docked, Steve hopped off and snuck into the back of a vehicle, which was rather cold. It was an army vehicle.

Steve made it into the base, though he was quickly spotted by multiple other soldiers as he ran toward the medical tent.

Outside of it, a man stepped up to him.

“What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be here.”

“Please..” Steve begged. “Let me see Bucky. He’s my friend..”

The man’s face hardened slightly as he cast an eye toward the tent. But it softened slightly. “He ain’t doin’ so well, son. But go on ahead and see him. I know how much he means to you. Wouldn’t stop talking about ya actually.”

Steve gave a small smile at that. “Thank you, sir.”

He entered the tent and felt his heart drop for the 2nd time.

It was unmistakably Bucky, but his face was a deathly pale. And he had a bloodied bandage across his chest and over his abdomen.

It seemed that he was unconscious.

Steve rushed over to him, eyes widening at the state his friend was in.

Shakily, he reached out a hand and squeezed Bucky’s wrist.

“Bucky?”

The man didn’t respond for a few moments, but eventually, his eyes slowly fluttered open with a small groan emitting from the Sergeant , his hazy eyes drifting around lazily in confusion.

When they landed on Steve’s frail form next to him, he nearly jumped straight off of the bed. Though, he was too tired to do so.

Instead, his eyes snapped open in disbelief. “S..Steve?”

“Hey..” 

Bucky attempted to sit up, but it triggered a violent coughing fit. 

Once he relaxed, he looked back toward Steve, his expression weaker than it was before.

“What..what are y-you doing..here?” Bucky asked.

Steve looked down for a moment. “I got told that you were hurt really bad..I couldn’t just sit there..”

Bucky watched him for a moment before stretching out a hand. He grabbed Steve’s smaller and thinner one with his own and squeezed as tightly as he could.

“Listen, Steve..” Bucky breathed out weakly. “I don’t..I don’t have much time l-left..”

Steve’s eyes filled with tears. “Buck—“

“It’s true..” Bucky looked at him sadly. “I-I’m sorry..”

Steve shook his head, squeezing Bucky’s hand in return. “Y-You can’t...You were gonna come back..I-I need you..”

Bucky smiled weakly, stretching out his free hand and wiping a tear from his brother in all but blood’s face. “It’ll be okay..”

Steve heard the crack in Bucky’s voice and figured I that he knew that Steve needed him.

Bucky let out a weak grunt as a wave of pain washed over him. His body jerked slightly, which triggered unconsciousness to start pulling at him violently. But he had to stay awake. For Steve.

“Bucky!” Steve shook him, fear flooding his body.

“I-I’m still here..” Bucky looked up at him and Steve could practically see the death in his eyes.

“L-Listen..” Bucky gasped out. His chest was heaving with difficulty. “T-take care of yourself..okay?” 

“But Bucky—“

“Promise me, Steve..” Bucky felt the tears stinging his own eyes as he said that. His voice broke. “P-Please..”

Steve looked at him with widened eyes. “I-I promise..I promise, just—just don’t leave me!”

A small, weak sob broke its way free of Steve’s throat. “P-please..Bucky-you’re the only person I have l-left..”

Seeing Steve cry practically shattered Bucky’s soul. He wanted to wipe that expression right off of his face.

“C’mere, Steve..” Bucky motioned weakly with his hands. Steve stepped closer and Bucky managed to wrap his arms around his back as Steve lowered his head down to rest on his chest. His body shook with sobs, Bucky was scared that he’d hurt himself in some way or trigger an asthma attack.

Bucky readjusted his grip and rested a hand on Steve’s head, running his fingers through his hair, while his other hand rested on his back.

“I-I don’t want to leave you either, Stevie..” Bucky admitted. 

They stayed like that for about 5 minutes before Bucky let out a desperate wheeze. Steve pulled back in alarm and watched as Bucky gasped for air that he couldn’t get.

He was going to die.

As the seconds passed, his struggles started to slow, and with the last ounce of strength he had left, he reached a shaking hand toward Steve, who quickly grabbed and squeezed it.

“Love ya, punk..” Bucky breathed. He made eye-contact with Steve, and then his eyes slid closed and he went limp.

Steve stood there, holding his best friend’s limp hand in shock. But reality slammed into him like a train.

“Bucky?” He shook him.

No response.

“Bucky!”

And then he was sobbing. He crashed to his knees, which hurt like hell. He probably cracked a bone. But he didn’t care.

“Bucky..” He sobbed. “D-Don’t leave me...”

And soon he was back in Brooklyn, sitting in his home alone.

He had no one.

Bucky was gone. His mother was gone..

And it was a few months after he woke up from the ice that he found out they Bucky was alive. Although, from what he found out, he wished he had died instead.

(Part 2 coming)


	5. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky shows up at Steve’s apartment in the middle of the night.

Steve arrived back at his apartment with an arm-load of groceries. He was out shopping, as he was in desperate need of some food.

He placed the bags on the table and placed all of the items in either the fridge, or cabinets. 

It was about 10:48 pm, so it was pretty dark out when he returned. He was exhausted. The first few hours of the day, he and Sam were out looking for Bucky. Whom they weren’t able to find for at least a year.

And here they are on the second year of searching, not knowing that they were closer than they thought.

Steve sat down and flicked on the TV, listening to the news for a little while before he turned it off and headed to bed.

Just to mention, the dream wasn’t pleasant. But he wasn’t so surprised.

He woke up with a startled gasp, clutching at his chest with his hand, before he settled down and looked around the dark room. His gaze shifted to his clock, which read 2:34 AM. 

He slept for a few hours, but it’s not like he’d be able to go back to sleep anytime soon, so he stayed up and decided to go to the kitchen for a snack.

When he went back to his bedroom at about 4:00, he was startled to see a figure standing by his bed, staring at him.

But he knew who it was without a second thought.

“Bucky?”

They haven’t been able to find him for over a year, and now here he is, suddenly in Steve’s own apartment.

The man didn’t respond to the name. Steve slowly reached toward the light switch.

“Is it okay if I turn the light on?”

He saw the slight movement of Bucky’s head and flicked the switch on. 

And Steve took in his friend for the first time in a while. 

His hair was ragged, as if he had just woken up. He was staring at Steve with such desperation in his eyes it made Steve’s chest ache.

Finally, Bucky lifted a shaking hand and pointed toward the man in front of him. His former target.

“Y-You’re Steve..”

Steve felt a flicker of hope at that. “Yeah..Yeah, I am.”

But it quickly disappeared as he noticed that the man’s other hand was clutched against his side, and he seemed to be favoring the opposite one.

“Are you hurt..?” Steve asked worriedly.

Bucky blinked and glanced down at his side, then back up at Steve. His eyes were wide now, in fear, as if Steve would hurt him for admitting such a weakness.

But the man knew what he must have thought, because he raised his hands in the air. “I swear I’m not going to hurt you.”

Bucky seemed to relax slightly. He took one step forward before he instantaneously collapsed to the floor, hitting his head pretty hard against the wooden surface, knocking him unconsciousness.

“Bucky!” Steve rushed forward and was at his knees at his friend’s side. It was then that he noticed the small, perfectly rounded circle in his friend’s side. It was still bleeding. He also noticed the exit wound on the other side.

Gunshot wound. Crap.

He was even more concerned at how hard Buck had struck his head off of the ground, but would ask when he woke up.

So he quickly went to grab a first aid kit from his closet and came back quickly, lifting the injured man into his arms.

“You’ll be alright, Buck..” 

He grabbed a few gauze pads and pressed them down against both wounds. It triggered a pained moan from the injured man and he shifted in his grip weakly, trying to escape the pain.

“Sorry,” Steve breathed. “It’ll be quick, I promise.”

Once the flow of blood from the wounds had slowed enough, he wrapped a bandage around his   
abdomen.

Bucky’s tightened expression seemed to relax, and his eyes slowly started to slide open.

“Bucky?” Steve asked quietly.

Bucky’s gaze slowly drifted up to his face, then suddenly widened within a split second. 

Steve noticed the tears building up in his friend’s eyes.

“S-Steve?” He asked, voice breaking.

“Yeah?”

“I-it’s really..it’s really you..?”

Steve felt himself overcome with happiness. “Yeah, of course it’s me.”

A tear made its way down Bucky’s face as he wrapped his arms tightly around his friend’s torso.

“They told me you died..” Bucky’s voice cracked once again, on the verge of tears.

“I didn’t, Buck..” Steve reassured him. “I’m here.”

Bucky sat up, turning and looking Steve in the eyes. “I-I hurt you..I-I tried to—“

Steve pulled him in for another embrace. “It wasn’t your fault..You were forced to do it.”

“But I could’ve killed you!” Bucky cried, burying his head into his friend’s chest.

“Hey, I’m tougher than I look,” Steve joked. Thankfully, it earned a small smile from Bucky.

“I missed you so much..” Bucky muttered as Steve tightened his grip, afraid that Bucky would disappear if he let him go.

“I missed you, too..” Steve breathed out in relief, resting his head on top of his friend’s.

He eventually sighed. “I’m—god, I’m so sorry that I wasn’t able to—“ 

Bucky cut him off before he could finish.

“Steve, don’t...there’s nothing you could have done.”

“But I—“

“No. I don’t blame you for anything that happened to me. It’s not your fault I fell. And I would have rather it had been me then you.”

Steve just shook his head. And now, it was him who was starting to tear up.

“I’m sorry..” He whispered.

Bucky initiated the embrace, holding Steve as tightly as he could. “Stop apologizing, punk..it ain’t on you. I made that choice because I wanted to protect you. I knew the risks.”

“You were tortured for years all because of me..”

“Still ain’t your fault, Steve,” Bucky rested his hand on the back of his friend’s head in comfort. “There’s no way you would have known I survived. I shouldn’t have. I believed I was dead, too.”

“I should have at least tried to look for a body..”

“The world was in danger. You did the right thing, preventing Schmidt from killing thousands, if not millions. “

Steve clutched the back of Bucky’s shirt, tears rolling down his own face.

“I’m glad you came back..” He muttered.

Bucky smiled. “Me too.”


	6. Traumatized

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky doesn’t fall, but the close call traumatizes both of them.

As soon as they entered the train, Steve had a weird feeling. He couldn’t really explain it.

Him and Bucky wandered around, guns at the ready in case an enemy appeared. he wandered through a doorway, which suddenly slammed shut before Bucky could make his way through.

Steve pressed his palm against the glass, Bucky doing the same, before he was forced to spin around, becoming distracted by the enemy.

Steve heard the sound of a weapon charging behind him and spun around himself. He saw some armored and heavily armed hydra goon standing there.

He shot his pistol at the figure, but it seemed to have no effect. He quickly took cover behind a few crates, shooting from behind it. Majority of the time he was worrying about Bucky.

Steve then ran out from his cover and kicked the goon to the ground. He then slammed his shield into the figure’s head before he turned and headed back toward the door.

He made his way through the archway and peered through the door separating him from the car Bucky was in. It looked like that he was out of ammo and preparing himself for death.

Panicked, Steve quickly reloaded his pistol and opened the door. He saw Bucky turn to him in surprise as he tossed the pistol. Bucky caught it and Steve rushed forward, using his shield to push a crate forward. That forced the other hydra goon to move to the side, giving Bucky a clear shot.

They both stood back and sighed. 

“I had him on the ropes,” Bucky said.

“I know you did.”

Suddenly, the same person Steve was fighting earlier returned. He knew because he heard the familiar sound of the weapon charging up.

He spun around and quickly raised his shield.

“Get down!” He yelled.

The blast was strong enough to knock the shield from his grasp, throwing him against the wall and temporarily stunning him. It left him vulnerable. The worst part was that the side of the train car was now completely exposed to the chilled air rushing past them outside.

Taking a quick glance toward his downed friend, Bucky grabbed the shield and used it as cover as be shot at the agent to distract him from Steve.

Unfortunately, that ended up being a fatal mistake. The next blast hit him strong enough to send him flying out of the exposed side of the train car, thankfully, he managed to grab onto one of the railings. 

Steve jumped to his feet and threw the shield at the figure, knocking him down, then he threw his helmet off and rushed to the side of the train car to peer out.

“Bucky!”

Carefully, he crawled out toward his friend, who was hanging on an unstable railing that was getting ready to give way.

And all that he could think in that moment is how much he did not want to lose Bucky.

From his precarious position over the edge of a very large drop, Bucky struggled to get closer to Steve’s outstretched hand.

And all he could think in those moments were how he couldn’t do this to Steve. This wasn’t how this was supposed to end.

End of the line.

Bucky swore that to Steve when they practically first met. This isn’t how he was supposed to go.

And dear god, Steve would be devastated.

And while he’s glad that it’s him and not Steve hanging off the side of a train, he can’t stop thinking about Steve’s terrified face, even right now.

“Grab my hand!” He yells out, desperately reaching toward Bucky.

The rail shifts, then creaks.

Steve’s hand is stretched as far out as it will go. And so is Bucky’s.

They’re so close, yet it won’t be enough.

Bucky looks into Steve’s panicked eyes and wants to wipe that expression right off of his face. But he couldn’t even wipe it off of his own.

“NO!” Steve practically screams.

The rail gives way, Bucky feels himself fall, then his wrist is being squeezed extremely tightly.

A panicked gasp escaped him as he looked up and saw Steve leaning dangerously far over, but he had caught him.

“I got you..”

Bucky didn’t fail to notice the tremor in his voice as he was yanked up. He felt himself hit solid ground and watched as Steve hurriedly jumped back to safety as well. They both fell to the ground, crawling far from the exposed side of the train and wrapped their arms around each other as they both took shaking breaths.

Steve is the first to start sobbing, then Bucky let’s out a fearful sob as he clutches Steve like a lifeline. 

“S-Steve..” Bucky gasps, clenching his fists at the back of his best friend’s uniform.

Steve was holding onto Bucky like he would disappear if he let go.

Bucky didn’t blame him.

Steve was honestly worse for wear. Bucky, in all honesty, was prepared to die and accept his fate. The only thing that was keeping the pure fear on his face was the fact that he’d be leaving Steve behind and breaking their vow to each other that they’d be there until the end of the line.

“Oh-Oh god, Buck...o-oh my god-“ Steve’s voice was breaking.

Bucky pulled Steve closer, keeping a firm hand on the back of his head and the other wrapped tightly around his shoulders. Both of them were trembling.

“I-I almost..I almost lost you-“ Steve croaked. “I-I don’t want—I was so s-scared..”

“I know..” Bucky tried his best to comfort. “I-I know..it’s okay, Steve, I’m here..I’m not going anywhere.”

Bucky was just as terrified as Steve was, but he had to stay strong for him.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, never leaving each other’s side. Steve’s head was resting on Bucky’s shoulder while Bucky had his arms resting on Steve’s back.

They sat there for 10 more minutes before they finally got to their feet. By the time they regrouped with the others, Zola had been successfully captured.

The Howling Commandos didn’t fail to notice how often the two stuck together. They wouldn’t leave each other’s side. And when they asked if something had happened, the two men said nothing.

And Bucky was there when Steve crashed into the ice. And when they woke up 70 years later in a supposedly whole different world.

They had nightmares extremely often. And usually bad ones. Though both were there to comfort each other through it.


	7. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve finds Bucky after the fall.

"Bucky!" 

Steve, along with his best friend, were hanging precariously outside of an exposed train car. Although Bucky was in a way worse predicament than Steve, because the Captain had willingly put himself at risk to try to pull his friend to safety.

He could feel his heart pounding furiously inside his chest as he stretched out his hand. "Grab my hand!"

Bucky was desperately attempting to climb along the unstable railing, glancing over at Rogers when he couldn't move anymore and stretching out his own hand. But, much to Steve's horror, the distance was much too great.

"NO!" He screamed, watching in helplessness as the rail Bucky had been clinging onto for dear life gave way. Bucky gave out a surprised gasp as his fingers brushed, but failed to grasp Steve's.

Steve felt his whole body go numb as he watched his friend plummet downward to his death. Even after Bucky disappeared from his sight, he kept staring at the empty air.

A sob worked its way up his throat as he lowered his head against the wall of the train car, face scrunching up in grief. 

He was too late.

Bucky was gone. His best friend, who's been there for him since they were kids.

Gone, within 10 seconds.

Steve threw himself back into the safety of the train and let himself sink to his knees, covering his face with his trembling hands. But at the back of his mind, something seemed to be urging him to go down into the ravine and look for his friend. Although the likely-hood of Bucky having survived was slim, Steve had a newfound determination to attempt a search. But he knew it would be a few days before he could convince anyone to allow him to attempt this alone, as he knew that no one else would likely join in on his search.

He slowly got to his feet, tear-tracks staining his face. When he got back to base, the other Howling Commandos had asked him what happened, but Steve refused to answer. They seemed to already know anyway, based on the absence of a certain Sergeant.

It ended up being at the end of the week before he was finally permitted to travel back down to the ravine. It was a long hours' travel, but when he finally arrived, he searched practically everywhere.

He told himself repeatedly to not let himself get his hopes up, as him being here was absolutely preposterous. No one could have survived a fall of that height.

Steve managed to narrow down the area to where Bucky had fallen. When he arrived, a sharp shiver ran up his spine at what he saw.

He saw a severed arm, covered in blood, just a few feet away.

He wanted to puke right on the spot, but thankfully his stomach wasn't as weak as it used to be.

Turning to his left, he spotted a trail of blood. And instantly, Steve had a bad feeling about this. But he followed it anyway. He guessed that the blood was from the remains of Bucky's left arm, which would now simply be a bloodied stump.

Steve silently prayed that Bucky was alive. He didn't know how he could go on without him.

He was walking for what seemed like hours before a large wall appeared ahead of him. He noticed the metal door that was likely the entryway, though when he went to open it, it was locked.

A small smile spread across his face as an idea popped into his head. 

He knocked on the door gently, and then hid beside it, shield in his hands. He would smash the face of whoever answered.

The door slowly slid open, and a man's voice spoke. "Hello?"

As quick as a flash of lightning, Rogers spun around and smashed the shield into the unsuspecting man's face. It knocked him unconscious instantly.

Steve made his way inside and saw tools and machines practically everywhere, along with some cryo-chambers and what looked like cells.

His appearance caught the attention of a nearby scientist, who panicked, but not before he grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and yanked him forward. "Where's Sergeant Barnes?"

When the man refused to answer, Steve violently shook the man. "Where is he?!"

Shaking in fear, the man finally pointed down the wide hall. Steve nodded and slammed the man into the ground before taking off running.

He took down multiple other scientists along the way, but when he turned the corner and saw a familiar figure laying on what looked like a stretcher, he froze. 

It was Bucky, for sure, but his left arm, and the majority of his shoulder, was replaced with metal with a red star at the shoulder.

From what it looked like, the man was conscious.

"Bucky!"

He rushed to his side. Strangely, there was no one around.

Confused, Barnes blinked a few times as he turned his head, as if he couldn't connect with the fact that his friend was standing right beside him.

When he spoke, his voice was raspy. 

"Steve?"

"I'm here, Buck.." Steve assured him. He undid the straps that were keeping the man down, and it reminded him of Azzano all over again.

"Can you get up?" He asked, resting a hand on his friend's shoulder.

Bucky grunted as he lifted himself into a sitting position. He then paused, taking a good look at Steve again.

"It's really-"

"Yeah, it's really me..." 

Steve rubbed a hand over his face. "Oh my god, Buck...I thought-I thought you were-" He shook his head, feeling tears stinging the edges of his eyes.

He felt cool fingers wrap firmly around his wrist. Looking back down, Steve noticed Bucky's newly-installed metal arm. "I ain't dead, Steve."

Steve grinned and went to help Bucky to his feet, when he heard a chilling and familiar voice.

"Captain Rogers."

Both Bucky and him tensed up. He slowly turned around and spotted the one and only Arnim Zola standing before them.

"I see you have come for your friend, once again," the scientist spoke. He was holding some sort of syringe in his hand and a clipboard in the other. There were also other armed men behind him.

Steve narrowed his eyes. "What do you want, Zola?"

"What do I want, hm?" Zola asked in the familiar accent. "I assure you, it is nothing from you that I require."

"Let us out of here. It'd be a shame if I had to make a mess of things," Steve threatened, staring at Zola challengingly.

Bucky watched the exchange with wide-eyes. He knew what Zola was going to do to him, and it was originally supposed to be done today, though it was thankfully delayed due to Steve's sudden arrival.

"I apologize for the inconvenience, but I'm afraid I can not allow you to leave," Zola replied, motioning toward the soldiers behind him. They stepped forward and aimed their guns toward the Captain, who took a step back in sudden alarm, pulling out his shield.

And then all hell broke loose.

Steve threw his shield up as bullets flew toward him from practically every direction. He knocked down multiple soldiers at once, although they kept him distracted enough to not see the bullet flying toward him from behind.

Bucky yelled his name as he stumbled forward, spinning around and knocking out the man who had shot him.

Zola looked surprised, before Steve rushed toward him and knocked him out as well. He would have captured him, but Bucky was more important.

"S-Steve," Bucky said, voice shaking as he watched the blood drip from his friend's back. "You're hurt."

Steve turned around. He hadn't even taken much notice until know. "I know, let's get you out of here first."

Bucky nodded and slung an arm around Steve's shoulder. Once his feet touched the ground he nearly collapsed, but Steve managed to catch him.

"Thanks.." His friend breathed.

Steve grinned despite the pain beginning to radiate from his back.

They walked for about an hour outside before Steve had to sit down. Bucky was next to him. He easily tore a piece of his own clothing that he had received and used it to press firmly onto Steve's wound.

"You need to stop taking bullets for me, Steve."

"Hey, this was like the first time," Steve protested.

"I'm sure it's gonna start."

They both laughed and they made it back a few hours later.


	8. Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 to War

Steve rushed at the man in front of him. The so called “Winter Soldier.” 

The man saw him coming though and spun around to slam his metal hand against Steve’s own shield. 

He then swiped his feet out from under him, kicking Steve off of the vehicle. Then, he pulled out a gun and began firing.

Steve narrowed his eyes and threw the shield up in front of him as protection. He advanced and threw the shield toward the Winter Soldier, who caught it with terrifying ease.

‘ Who is this guy? ‘ Steve asked himself.

The Soldier rushed at him, metal fist poised in a punching position. Steve predicted the swing and brought his shield up to cover him, all while he kicked his leg out, tripping the man and catching him by the muzzle.

He threw him over his shoulder and the mask came flying off.

Steve stood, staring, as the man turned around and stared at him with a blank, unrecognizable gaze. 

Rogers felt his heart stop. 

‘ It can’t be..he died- ‘

“Bucky?” 

“Who the hell is Bucky?”

Steve felt his heart drop.

Bucky raised his gun. Steve would have let him shoot him if it wasn’t for Natasha interfering with an RPG.

Bucky jumped back and got back to his feet, staring at Steve with wide, unrecognizing eyes, before turning and running.

The next time Steve saw him, after the helicarrier incident, was years later in some random forest.

Steve turned, having a sudden weird feeling of someone watching him.

He slowly turned around and saw Bucky standing completely still behind him, arms at his side. He was staring at him.

“Do you know me?” Steve asked hesitantly.

Bucky didn’t respond for a moment. “You’re Steve...”

“Yeah..” Steve replied softly. “Do you remember m—“ Before he had the chance to finish, a loud explosion from behind him sent him flying right into a tree. He felt and heard something crack before he was forced into unconsciousness.

He woke up in absolute agony. He wasn’t aware of the pain at first, but once he started to become more aware, he felt like he was being torn from the inside out.

Almost instantly, a pained yell escaped from his throat. He also found that he could barely move, and his legs were pretty much completely numb.

He slowly opened his eyes again after pinching them shut to fight against the extreme pain. 

Faintly, he could hear a violent fight taking place in the distance. He heard a gunshot ring off and then the sound of something hitting metal.

It was silent after a few seconds, and Steve must have drifted off because someone was fearfully shaking his shoulder and trying to talk to him.

“—wake up you idiot. Steve!”

Said man groaned in response and looked up through blurred vision. “Wh-what..?”

Bucky was staring down at him and let out a visible sigh of relief when he spoke.

“Dear god, Steve. Nice way to give a man a heart attack. Can you get up?”

Steve shifted slightly, pure pain following suit. He screamed and arched his back instinctively, making the pain worse.

Bucky’s eyes shot open as he grabbed and pulled his friend against his chest gently. “Steve! Steve, calm down. You’re okay!”

Unfortunately, the large amount of pain overwhelming him caused him to black out. He fell limply against his friend, who tightened his grip and looked down on him in worry.

“Steve?”

When he didn’t respond, Bucky attempted to stand up with the man in his arms, but a weak and pitifully pained groan caused him to sit back down. It hurt him to see Steve in pain. 

Bucky sighed. “What am I going to do with you?”


	9. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve loses Bucky for real this time.

Steve was in a very tough situation. Him and Bucky were surrounded by HYDRA, whom were looking to recapture their prized Winter Soldier.

Steve, however, was in no mood to let them. And he would NEVER let them take Bucky from him again. He swore on everything to never let that happen. He'd rather die.

The two brothers (in all but blood) were standing back to back. Bucky had a firm grip on the gun in his hand, and Steve had his shield in front of him. It was just like old times, which made Steve's heart ache at the memories that flooded into his head upon thinking that.

"Ready?" He asked, turning and smirking at the man standing behind him. Faintly, he noticed Bucky's lips curve upward into a smile. 

"Yeah."

And then pure chaos erupted. Gunshots echoed around them in almost every direction, but Steve managed to catch the majority of them with his shield. One lucky bullet managed to hit him right in the arm. Bucky had spun around, concerned, until he saw that Cap was still holding his own pretty well despite having just been shot.

The HYDRA soldiers were getting weary, Steve could tell. Just by their posture and how they were firing. It was sloppy and their aim was terrible.

Until one such soldier got a lucky shot, aiming straight for Steve's chest. But Bucky saw it coming. He always saw it coming. They had to watch each other's back after all.

And instead of hitting Steve's chest, it hit Bucky's. And despite the serum, Steve knew that it was a fatal shot. 

Fueled with a sudden rage he hadn't felt in years, Steve threw his shield into the two remaining men and knocked them down within 3 seconds. Instantly, he spun around to face Bucky, pure terror replacing the anger on his face.

The man had his flesh arm over the bleeding wound in his chest, and his breaths were coming in short wheezes. He wobbled toward Steve, reaching out his metal hand.

He collapsed.

Steve rushed forward and caught him in his arms, gently lowering himself and the shaking man in his arms to the ground.

"Bucky!" He tightened his grip, tears already beginning to form. "Buck.."

Barnes looked up at him, eyes hazed. He opened his mouth to speak, but a harsh cough interrupted his words. 

"S-Steve..." His eyes widened. "Steve-" His shaking hands reached up and gripped his sleeve. His flesh hand broke away and went for Steve's hand, squeezing it tightly as he wheezed.

"Why the hell did you do that?" Steve asked, voice shaking. "Why, Buck?"

The man looked up at him, hurt covering his expression. "Y-You would have..you would have died," Bucky sounded scared, though it was clear that he was scared for Steve and not himself. "I-I couldn't..I couldn't let you get hurt..I don't want to see you get hurt.."

"That doesn't mean you have to get yourself hurt in the process to do it!" Steve argued. "You're important to me, Buck. I can't lose you."

Bucky's expression softened. "I can't lose you either..."

Steve felt his heart shatter into a thousand pieces. Bucky was staring at him now, a weak smile on his face.

"I-I can't..you're the only person I have left.." Steve pleaded. "Don't do this.."

"I'm sorry.." Bucky whispered. He coughed harshly, blood flying from his lips. It was clear that his strength was wavering. His body was shaking and shuddering in Steve's grip and Bucky was struggling to keep his eyes open.

After a few moments, they started to droop closed and his breathing slowed dangerously.

"Bucky!" Steve shook him. "Don't leave me...D-Don't-"

Much to his relief, Bucky's eyes slid back open. His chest was shuddering weakly with each breath it couldn't get in.

He reached up with his flesh hand and gently touched his friend's face, which only made him sob harder.

"S-Steve...Steve I-I'm sorry...I couldn't..." 

Steve shushed him, cradling his best friend's head to his chest as he struggled to breathe.

"I love you, Steve.." Bucky muttered. It was so quiet that he barely heard it,

"I love you too, pal.." Steve replied, voice shaking. 

Bucky smiled weakly, then he went limp and he was gone.

Steve cried.


	10. Blood

Steve was desperately searching for his best friend. Ever since Carter had told him that those missing from the 107th were either killed or captured, he had a determination to find him. Because he knew that Bucky was alive.

He had broken into the HYDRA base which was filled with high-tech weapons like Steve had never seen before. Of course, it freaked him out. Those weapons can cause heavy destruction and pure chaos. 

He was wandering around the place, taking out HYDRA soldiers when he ran into them. But he soon came to an eerily empty hallway, except for open archways that led into different rooms on each side. And then he noticed Zola.

That bastard...

Steve went to go after him, but a pitifully weak groan snapped him out of his thoughts. Turning to the nearest opening, he peeked inside curiously. What he saw mixed up his emotions like a blender.

He saw Bucky, lying tied down to a table. Practically all of his limbs were strapped down.

Shocked, Steve moved forward and went to undo the straps as quickly as he could. All while he was thinking of everything that stupid doctor could have done to him.

"Bucky! Oh my god.."

The man didn't seem to even glance toward him until he finally lifted the last strap. He noticed how hazy his friend's eyes were, no doubt he experienced torturous conditions.

"Who is that.." He heard Bucky mutter weakly, and Steve felt his heart drop and more anger swell up inside him. But he pushed on anyway. 

"It's me..It's Steve!" 

At first, Bucky's brows furrowed as if in deep thought. Then a weak smile graced his lips as he reached a shaking arm up to rest on his shoulder. 

"Steve.."

"Come on," Steve shook his shoulder gently as Bucky repeated his name again. "Steve."

But as soon as he got Bucky to his feet, he collapsed.

Steve didn't have time to catch him before he struck the ground. Fear washed over him as he dropped to his knees beside him, rolling him onto his back. "Bucky!"

The man groaned weakly, his eyes drifting around lazily as he struggled to focus on anything.

It was then that Steve noticed the blood. It was starting to pool up under him. Slowly, but still there.

How Bucky had gotten this injured, he had no idea. And why it only appeared now, he also had no idea.

But those bastards had done horrible things to him, no doubt.

"Shit," Steve swore. He lifted Bucky into his lap and cupped his face, trying desperately to get his friend to look at him. "Bucky! Buck, look at me."

A strangled gasp escaped Bucky's throat. His eyes still drifted to everything but Steve's face. 

"Bucky, please.." Steve pleaded.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Bucky's eyes drifted over to his face. His mouth parted and Steve could see the tears.

"S-Steve..."

He said it like he couldn't believe that Steve was alive, or even standing in front of him. It was understandable because Bucky had always seen the smaller Steve, who was supposed to still be in Brooklyn. But yet here he was.

"I-I thought you were...small-" He coughed. "smaller.."

"I was," Steve smiled weakly. "I joined the army."

Bucky tried to sit up, but gasped and fell back into his friend's arms. "Did-Did it h-hurt..?"

"A little."

"Is it permanent..?"

"So far."

Bucky let out a weak chuckle, then went into an intense coughing fit. His arm reached out and gripped Steve's sleeve as he did so.

Steve's eyes went wide, expressing the fear he was feeling. He helped Bucky sit up more and instantly the man leaned against him. The fact that Steve's uniform was being stained with Bucky's blood was even worse. But there wasn't anything in his line of sight or anything that he had that could slow it down. 

Bucky was going to die. And he just got him back.

That thought sparked the tears to start flowing. He lowered his head and a strangled sob escaped his throat, gaining Bucky's immediate, although weak, concerned attention.

"Steve? Steve-Steve hey-! Look at me," Bucky's voice was weak, but he was still trying his best to provide comfort. He hated seeing Steve upset. It hurt him. 

When Steve finally looked up, his eyes red and puffy and tear trails still running down his face, Bucky lifted a hand and wiped one away. "What's wrong?"

Steve shook his head. "I-I just got you back...I-I just-" He wiped at his nose as a tear dripped onto Bucky's arm. He blinked and looked back up at Steve. He lifted a shaky hand, which he found, terrifyingly enough, starting to become heavier. He gently reached up and cupped the side of Steve's head, resting their foreheads together. 

Bucky could feel Steve's shoulders shake with sobs. He wanted to desperately wipe that expression away forever, but he couldn't really do much in his state.

And then suddenly it got a hell of a lot worse.

He didn't know when it happened, but the next thing he knew, he was gasping for air and his body was convulsing uncontrollably. 

Faintly, he heard Steve's panicked voice calling out for him. And he wanted to reach out and tell him that he was okay, but he couldn't. His body was growing weaker extremely quickly and he felt his eyelids growing heavy.

He couldn't do this to Steve..Not now.

"St-Ste-" He gasped, coughing harshly between spasms. Steve was holding him tightly against his chest, and eventually the convulsing slowed. It left Bucky exhausted and weak. 

"Bucky?" Steve asked, voice choked. "Bucky, please don't do this to me-"

"'m so sorry, Stevie.." Bucky muttered under his breath. He coughed harshly, though it was weaker than it was before. The blood was starting to slow. Not a good sign.

His chest shuddered, then slowed dramatically as Bucky's head fell back. His eyes rolled up and he took in heaving breaths, though it was extremely difficult.

"Bucky!" Steve practically yelled. He shook his friend, who's breathing was starting to slow dramatically. As expected, he didn't respond. And he felt his heart drop as he noticed his friend's eyelids drooping.

"N-No..B-Bucky!"

He lifted his friend's head up, and for one more lasting moment, his eyes slid open. He reached his shaking hand over to Steve's and squeezed it gently, making eye contact with him.

"I-I'm...I'm sorry.." He whispered.

And then his chest went still, and his eyes were left staring lifelessly at Steve's face. It was creepy.

Nevertheless, Steve slowly slid his best friend's eyes closed and clutched the body to his chest. He rocked back and forth like a child and sobbed.


	11. Vormir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky go to Vormir.

“This place is hella creepy,” Bucky pointed out as they walked up the steep slope toward the top of the large cliff. As they did so, Bucky felt an unsettling feeling in his stomach.

“You think?” Steve asked. Bucky didn’t fail to notice how he shivered, as if he was getting a bad vibe from this place, too. “I just want to get this over with so we can finally live our lives in peace.”

Bucky glanced toward him as they walked. “Me too, Steve,” He glanced upward at the large distance they still had to travel. “Me too.”

It took a few minutes before they reached the top. At this point, the two best friends had been joking around for a while.

“That was one time!” Steve argued, punching his friend playfully in the shoulder.

“But you should have seen your face,” Bucky laughed, almost uncontrollably. “It was hilarious!”

Steve felt his face go red at the memory and rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah..keep tellin’ yourself that.”

“Welcome.”

They both spin toward the voice. Steve has his shield at his side in an instant and Bucky’s aiming a gun toward the hooded figure ahead of them.

“Steven Rogers..son of Sarah Rogers...” the voice spoke. “James Barnes..the Winter Soldier.”

“Who are you?” Steve asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Consider me a guide. To you, and to all who seek the Soul stone. But you may also find that I may be quite familiar to you.”

“We don’t even know who you are,” Bucky growled.

“You will,” the figure replied with a dark tone that made Steve even more uneasy.

The figure stepped forward. And as his face came into view, Steve felt his stomach plummet straight through the ground.

“Red Skull?! How the hell can you possibly be alive? I watched you die,” Steve asked.

“Not necessarily, Captain Rogers,” Red Skull replied. “You see, the Tesseract doomed me to this fate. To lead others to a power that I could not possess. I was condemned here, to spend the rest of my days alone.”

“Nothing less of what you deserve,” Barnes growled.

Red Skull growled, then smiled but remained silent.

“Where’s the Soul Stone?” Steve asked.

“Right this way,” Red Skull said, leading them toward the very edge of the cliff. Both were confused.

Bucky looked over the edge and sighed. “Stone’s down there.”

“For one of you,” Red Skull said. “For the other...In order to take the stone, you must lose that which you love.”

Both Steve and Bucky felt like they had just been speared in the chest. Neither could process the next words.

“A Soul, for a Soul.”

Bucky’s eyes went wide and he took a few steps backward. “No. Hell no. There has to be another way,” He spun around and faced Red Skull. “You liar-!”

“Buck..” Steve whispered, gaining his attention. “Thanos and Gamora were here before. Thanos came back without Gamora, and had the stone..it’s not a coincidence.”

The sudden realization made both of them want to puke. Steve nearly doubled over, while Bucky was stood still in shock.

If any of them would have to die, it might as well be him. He was supposed to die over 100 years ago anyway.

No way would he let Steve die.

He slowly turned toward his friend, who was looking up at him with red-rimmed eyes. But he looked just about as ready to jump as he did. But he saw the look on Bucky’s face.

“NO! Buck, don’t you dare,” Steve rushed forward   
and grabbed him, pulling him into a hug. “Don’t you even dare. I’ll do it.”

Bucky pulled back in alarm. “Steve—Steve, no..” his voice broke. “I can’t watch you die.

“I can’t watch you die again, either!” Steve practically screamed. “This is going to look exactly the way it did when you fell off the train. What do you think that’d do to me?”

Bucky felt as if his heart was being torn in two. He felt tears stinging his eyes as he embraced his friend tightly. 

A large part of him didn’t want to do this. Because he would hurt and traumatize Steve for the 2nd time. Far more times than he would have liked. But he couldn’t watch Steve die, either. Bucky was the one who made so many mistakes and killed innocent people and this would be his consequence for it. 

“I know, Steve..but I can’t watch you die,” Bucky pulled back, wiping a tear from his friend’s face. “I-I ruined so many people’s lives. And I should be dead.”

“I can’t watch you die again, Buck..” Steve whispered. “I’m sorry.”

And then Bucky found himself on the ground and Steve bolting toward the edge. Panic shot through him as he got to his feet, screaming a distressed, “NO!” while he tackled his friend to the ground. They wrestled a bit, then Bucky got up and started running. 

Steve tackled him again and then they were falling, but Steve quickly used the grapple Natasha had given him, for safety measures, to latch on the wall. He swung himself downward, and found himself hanging only by his grip on Bucky’s metal arm.

Bucky wouldn’t be able to pull him back up. And he knew it.

“Steve!” Bucky cried. “Steve, hang on!”

“Let go, Buck..” Steve whispered.

Bucky’s head whipped back around toward him. Tears were pouring down his face.

“N-No..no-I wont..I can’t-“

“It’s okay,” Steve reassured him.

Bucky shook his head. “It’s not okay, Steve! I’m not going to sit here and watch you die! Please..i don’t want you to die..”

Steve only smiled at him. And god, Bucky wanted to wipe that off of his face. Steve was dangling off a freaking cliff for Christ’s sake.

“Please no..” Bucky pleaded.

Steve pushed off of the cliff and Bucky lost his  
grip.

Bucky watched, in complete terror, as Steve fell, and became smaller and smaller.

Bucky screamed.

“NO!”

He quickly started sobbing as he looked down at Steve’s body, lying motionless on the ground. His head was gushing blood from the looks of it, but it was hard to tell.

“STEVE!” He cried. “St—Steve..”

And then everything went black.

He awoke with the Soul Stone in his hand. He quickly looked back up toward the mountain Steve had fallen from.

“St-Steve..I-I’m so sorry..”

He sobbed, lowering his head against his chest.


	12. Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky surrenders himself to HYDRA in order to save Steve’s life.

It was a day like any other. Of course, practically all of their days started with them going for a run through New York. It was definitely a beautiful place, though unfortunately they couldn’t really say that much back in the day.

Steve and Bucky had been out since 6AM. Neither of them really slept. The sounds of Tony tinkering in his lab had kept them awake practically most of the night. 

They both slowed to a speed-walking pace. They had ran miles and Steve hasn’t even broken a sweat. Although Bucky also received the serum, it wasn’t yet the same as the one Steve had received. So it had different effects on the subject it was given to.

By now, it was about 7:30AM. They were both walking around and talking to each other while doing so.

“Have you tasted Clint’s cooking?” Steve asked, a small shiver being sent through his body. “My stomach ached for ages after I tried his cooking.”

Bucky grimaced. “Ugh. I remember that one time I threw up after I tried his spaghetti. Even back in the day the food was better than that.”

“From what I’ve heard, he’s finally gotten better at it,” Steve said, glancing back toward where the Avengers Tower would have been, if not for the buildings blocking the view. 

“Really?” Bucky asked, almost skeptical. “He couldn’t have improved that fast. And I don’t want to risk puking out all of my lunch again.”

“Me neither. Hey, maybe we can get Nat or Tony to do it for us. Or Bruce. I bet they’d have the guts. Tony for sure.”

Bucky grinned, then broke out into a chuckle. The sense of peace was welcoming. Both friends finally had their lives back. At least somewhat. Bucky was still growing accustomed to it, as most of his time in this century was spent as the Winter Soldier.

But it didn’t last long, however. The peace was soon replaced with confusion and uncomfortableness. Steve quickly took notice of Bucky’s tense posture.

“You alright?” He asked, resting a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

At first, Bucky didn’t answer. He just stood, as if he was a statue. Though, he was intently listening for the eerily familiar sound he had heard before. 

“Get down!” Bucky suddenly yelled out, shoving Steve to the ground with him just as a rocket flew over their head and hit the wall of a building. Debris came flying down and a fire soon erupted.

The first word that came to Bucky’s mind was HYDRA.

After the sudden blow, both men jumped to their feet. Unfortunately, Steve hadn’t thought to bring his shield with him. So he was overall defenseless against the attackers. Except for his amazing strength, of course.

Cars sped down the road and came to a screeching halt in front of them. Many men, whom were armed, emerged from the vehicles and aimed the barrel of their weapons toward them. 

“Hello, Asset.”

The voice startled Bucky out of his thoughts. He spun around, his eyes wide in wild rage and a hidden fear.

“My name is Bucky,” He growled.

Steve tensed next to him, glaring daggers toward the man who was involved in his best friend’s torture. “Rumlow..”

“Nice to see you too, Rogers,” the man joked, a wicked grin spread across his face. “I believe you have something that belongs to us.”

Steve flinched, glancing toward Bucky. “Like hell I’m going to just hand him over.”

“I think you’d find that in your best interest, Captain,” Rumlow replied. His hand reached down for the gun at his side, fit snuggly in its holster. “It’s the easy way or the hard way.”

“I think we’ll take the hard way,” Bucky said, reaching for a gun he had also brought along with him. Just for precaution.

Then, all hell broke loose. Gunshots rang throughout the small area they found themselves in. One bounced off of Bucky’s metal arm as he grabbed a soldier by the throat, slamming them to the ground. 

Steve had dove for Rumlow, who was being covered by other agents, whom he easily threw out of the way like paper. Soon enough, him and Rumlow were in a fist fight, as Steve managed to knock the gun from his hand.

“Don’t have your shield to save you this time do you?” Rumlow mocked with a growl. “The Asset is coming back with us, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Steve threw the man over his shoulders, though he quickly got back up and they glared daggers at each other.

“Actually, there is,” Steve said. “I can stop you from taking him. Because like hell I’m just gonna sit by and watch you do it.”

Rumlow huffed out a laugh, before rushing forward and sending a kick toward Steve’s stomach. He dodged, and twisted Rumlow’s arm painfully. The man yelled out and managed to kick Steve away.

Bucky was still occupied with his own fight. The other soldiers were clearly trying not to cause serious damage, but they’d soon regret that.

He sent his metal fist flying toward one of their faces, faintly aware of Steve and Rumlow facing off. There was a sickening crack as the soldier fell to the ground, blank gaze staring lifelessly up at the blue sky.

“That’s what you get,” He growled to himself. Looking up, he saw Steve twist Rumlow’s arm painfully and smiled a little in pride. 

The sound of a gun cocking behind him caused him to pause. 

‘ Well, damn..’ He thought to himself just as the gun went off. Barnes was confused for a few moments when he realized that there was no pain that followed. And he felt fine.

Another shot went off, followed by a pained yell. And then Bucky felt like the world collapsed on top of him. A rush of realization and horror hit him like a train.

He spun around to see the victorious expression on Rumlow’s face, and then saw Steve, two bullet holes in his back, wobbling on his feet.

Rumlow raised his gun.

“NO!” Bucky screamed, but there wasn’t enough time. The bullet struck Steve in the middle of his chest, though up toward his neck, and sent him down. 

Bucky caught him a split second before his head came into contact with the solid concrete.

“Steve!” Bucky cried, quickly pulling his friend to his chest as he used his metal arm to put pressure on the worst wound, located on his chest. “H-Hang on..you’ll be okay..”

His gaze snapped up to Rumlow, who was approaching them with a grin.

“Time to come home, Asset.”

“NO!” Bucky yelled, but froze when he noticed Rumlow aiming the gun at his dying friend.

His eyes widened in fear.

“Don’t you dare—“ Bucky paused, thinking for a moment. His gaze went down to his friend, who was struggling to pull in precious breaths.

“Fine..I’ll come with you. On one condition.”

“Go ahead,” Rumlow said, smiling.

“You let me get him help so he can live.”

The man thought for a moment, humming, before nodding. “Alright.”

Bucky sighed and looked down at his best friend, practically his brother. Little brother by age. Although Steve was a bit bigger than him in reality because of the serum.

“I’m sorry, Steve...but the world needs you more than it needs me,” He placed a gentle kiss to his forehead.  
______________________________

Steve woke up in extreme pain. He had no idea where it came from and couldn’t even remember what happened. But judging by the extreme beeping of what seemed to be a heart monitor, he guessed he was in a hospital.

Overtime, the pain lessened to a dull ache. It was enough for him to slowly start to open his eyes, and sure enough, his prediction was right. He was in the hospital. 

As he shifted himself into a sitting position, the extreme pain in his chest became apparent. He gasped, and tried to keep himself still. And sure enough, the pain dulled.

He looked over to the entrance of his room. The door slowly slid open and Natasha entered, dragging a chair over to and sitting at his bedside.

“Natasha..” He muttered, still trying to find his voice.

“Hey,” She gave her casual smile. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got hit by a truck..” Steve groaned. “Wha’ happened?”

Natasha glanced downward, struggling within herself on whether she should tell him. But he deserved to know. Barnes was his friend, after all.

“You and Barnes were attacked by HYDRA last week. You were shot three times and have been unconscious since. You wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for him.”

Suddenly, a flow of memories rushed through Steve’s brain.

Fighting, pain, darkness..

“Bucky!” He yelled out suddenly. Steve winced as his chest ached badly in protest. He gasped, then started coughing.

“Take it easy, Steve,” Natasha warned. “You were in critical condition when we first got you here. Your body has healed pretty well over the week you were out, but it’s not at 100%.”

“Where’s Bucky?” Steve asked, voice raspy from the coughing fit he had just sent himself into.

Natasha paused, her hesitation clearly showing on her face. And judging on her expression, Steve knew something had happened.

His eyes widened.

“Where is he?!”  
_________________________________

Barnes was forced down into the chair he was so familiar with. He knew what was about to happen to him, but hopefully Steve received proper medical help and was still alive. Or else none of this would have been worth anything.

He couldn’t keep his hands from trembling as the machine came down and pressed against the side of his face. His arms tensed.

“Steve..” He whispered, tears forming in his eyes. He kept repeating his name like a mantra, trying to keep at least a part of himself with him. Although he knew that wasn’t going to happen.

And then it was pure agony.

A ragged scream tore itself from his throat as the machine was activated, sending familiar but painful jolts through his skull.

As time passed, everything he was trying to remember, including Steve, started to fade.

“S-Ste—“ He tried to continue saying his best friend’s name through the pain, but it was impossible.

‘ S-Steve..I’m sorry..I’m sorry-‘

And then everything disappeared.

___________________________________

Steve stared forward, almost emotionless, if it wasn’t for the guilt and rage and sadness flooding through his body. Natasha had just told him that Bucky had given him up to HYDRA to save his life.

And that made Steve feel a variety of things. Guilt was the main one.

Because Bucky wanted him to live. He wanted him to live so he gave himself back up to the people who had tortured him.

It was about 2 more weeks before Steve could actually go back to doing normal things. And of course, the first and most important was finding Bucky.

He wouldn’t stop searching until he did.

Of course, the time he shows up was when Steve wasn’t expecting him to. He had just got out of the store to take some groceries back to his apartment when a fist collided with the wound on his chest.

Steve went flying backward, slamming into the pavement but quickly regaining his composure. Though, his wound hadn’t fully healed, so it had now began to ache quite severely.

He winced, gasping for air as the wind was knocked out of him. But once he recovered, he looked up.

And he wished he was dead.

Bucky was standing before him, in his familiar Winter-Soldier armor. He was staring at him with that familiar blank look. His eyes held no recognition and it was then that Steve realized that he had been too late.

They wiped him.

“B-Bucky..?”

“Who the hell is Bucky?” The man growled. Once again another painful reminder of what he had said when Steve first found out Bucky was the Winter Soldier.

“No..” Steve breathed, as though he couldn’t believe it. But part of him could.

It was HYDRA, of course they would have wiped him.

“Bucky, please. It’s me—“

Bucky’s metal arm made contact with Steve’s stomach and he went down on all fours. He didn’t even feel like fighting. It had all been drained from him. 

So he just stayed on his knees, gasping. He felt his chest burning. The contact must have agitated the wound.

And then he heard the voice he hated the most.

“Ah, Rogers...”

Steve looked up, eyes narrowing when he spotted Rumlow walking toward him. Bucky took a step back, watching with no sort of expression on his face.

“Go to hell,” Rogers spat.

Rumlow whistled. “That’s pretty harsh don’t you think?”

“Not to a monster like you..” Steve muttered.

Rumlow chuckled. “Doesn’t it feel horrible? To know that you sat by, unable to do anything as you let your best friend be taken and transformed into a weapon once again? Even though I can remember you saying, in much detail, that you wouldn’t.”

Steve was overwhelmed with guilt. He sat there on his knees, feeling his eyes start to fill with tears.

Rumlow knelt down and lifted his chin. “Just look at you. Aren’t so tough now are ya?” 

For once, Steve felt absolutely nothing. He was just numb, sitting there with tear tracks on his cheeks.

Rumlow laughed, then turned toward Barnes.

“Finish him off.”

The man nodded and kicked Steve onto his back. He placed a foot on the man’s chest, pulling a gun from his holster and aiming it at Steve’s chest.

But he hesitated. His eyes drifted to the ripped area of the man’s shirt. He didn’t fail to notice the faint, yet still noticeable, wound that was there. It was healing pretty well, but it was still easy to spot, at least for him.

And then his eyes drifted down to the man’s face.

Steve was staring up at Bucky with the most miserable and accepting expression he’s ever worn. He knew he was going to die. He had a gun aimed right at his chest.

He failed. He failed everyone, but he especially failed Bucky.

“Shoot him,” Rumlow growled, growing impatient with the Asset’s hesitation.

The Asset never hesitated on killing a target before. Why was he hesitating now?

There was just something about this man..the solemn and resigned expression seemed wrong. And deep inside him it hurt. 

But why?

Instead of shooting him, Bucky slammed his metal fist into the man’s face. He didn’t want to be punished, so maybe making the man suffer would give him time.

“B-Buck..” the man below him choked. “P-Please..I’m sorry...”

The Asset growled. He didn’t have a name, so why was the target calling him that?

He slammed his fist into the man’s face again, but when he pulled it back he froze. And he was plunged into a memory of a thin, scrawny boy from Brooklyn back in the 1900s getting beat up practically everywhere. His face tended to be beat to a pulp everytime he found him.

The Asset blinked again. Why was he thinking these thoughts? These memories couldn’t be true, he didn’t know him.

“I don’t know you,” He growled. He saw the man visibly flinch at that. 

“Finish him, Asset,” Rumlow growled.

And then all of a sudden Bucky was flooded with memories. From Brooklyn all the way to when he was willing to give himself to HYDRA to save Steve. And also up to the point where he was shoved into the chair and was wiped.

His eyes slowly widened in dawning horror as he looked down at Steve. 

What had he done? This was the 2nd time!

He felt his heart shatter at the expression on his best friend’s face. Bucky knew Steve was blaming himself for this. But Bucky had never seen him look so defeated and done with his life. He was ready to die.

“No..” Bucky whispered. He stood back up and stumbled backward. “I can’t..”

Rumlow grabbed his gun and aimed it back at Rogers. “Then I’ll do it.”

Bucky quickly pulled his own gun out and shot Rumlow in the chest twice before he could do anything.

Rumlow gasped, dropping the gun from his hands as he looked at Barnes.

“You traitor...”

He dropped to the ground, motionless.

Bucky was at Steve’s side, who’s miserable expression had turned into shock as Bucky wrapped his arms tightly around his friend and pulled him close.

“Steve...” He muttered. “Steve..oh god, I’m so soft..I’m so—oh god..”

“Bucky..?” Steve asked, hesitantly. “B-Buck—“

“It’s me, Steve...” Bucky reassured him, pulling back and looking his friend in the eye. “I’m sorry..don’t you dare beat yourself up over this.”

Steve’s eyes widened as he accepted the embrace.

“No. No I’m sorry..I-I failed you..I-I’m just..I couldn’t even..”

Bucky tightened his grip as Steve began to sob.

“Shh, hey..” Bucky tried. “Steve, it’s okay..it wasn’t your fault..”

Bucky pulled back, resting his hands on the sides of Steve’s face. “It’s okay...I’m here now..”

Steve smiled, tears streaming down his face.

“Please don’t do that again..I don’t want to lose you..”

Bucky sighed, pulling Steve close again. “I know..and I won’t. But I don’t want to lose you either..”


	13. Loss

The Asset gazed up toward a specific level of the hospital. No—He wasn’t the Asset anymore. His name was Bucky. Right?

That blond man..the man who kept insisting that they knew each other..was the one who gave him the name. And after researching that topic at the Smithsonian, he found it to be disturbingly true.

Apparently, they had known each other since forever. But he couldn’t remember. It was so frustrating at times. 

What drove him to be standing before the very hospital he had put that man in he had no idea. But a deep concern buried deep within him bubbles to the surface. He didn’t know why he felt this. But he did. And had a sudden determination to check on the man. It was the middle of the night, so it was the perfect time.

Carefully, he used what resources he could to scale the building toward the window he knew would lead to the man’s room. To his surprise, and annoyance, the window was left open. It was enough for a simple criminal to sneak in and shoot the man dead, finishing what Bucky had started.

The room was pitch black, except for a faint lamp sitting next to the bed, revealing the faint outline of the blond man’s face. Carefully and silently, Bucky lifted the window up just enough for him to slip through. 

His feet touched the ground with a silent thud. Thankfully, the man did not stir even the slightest bit.

It took a few minutes before Bucky slowly made his way closer to the bed to examine the man’s features. He felt his chest ache at the sight of the man’s swollen and beaten face. It was a damage he had caused. It stirred unfamiliar feelings, which he somehow felt were familiar either way.

He hesitantly reached his metal hand out, but pulled it back and shoved it into his pocket. His metal hand caused this damage. He felt as if he couldn’t trust it just as must as he could trust himself.

Bucky found his thoughts straying to a different topic. The words the man had spoken to him on the Helicarrier.

‘Til the end of the line.’

That phrase was familiar. So familiar that it had sparked a distant memory from decades past. It caught him off guard, and it suddenly gave him a reason to protect the man instead of finishing him off, as HYDRA had previously intended him to do.

Just seeing the blond-haired man in this particular setting sparked discomfort and even a faint memory. One of a much scrawnier boy in Brooklyn with a series of health problems. He was always getting beat up anywhere there was to be beat up in. A back alley, parking lot, diner, you name it.

Bucky turned to leave, not wanting to accidentally disturb the man and make him aware of his presence, when he he suddenly turned back and walked the few steps over to the bed.

Hesitating, he hovering his flesh hand mere centimeters over the other man’s own. While he did this, he was watching the man’s breathing, which was, to his relief, much steadier than before. 

He felt his fingers brush the top of the man’s hand, and then he turned to leave. 

“I’ll see you soon, Steve..” He whispered. 

Bucky wasn’t even aware that he had spoke that sentence. When he did realize, he had no idea where it had come from. But it was easy to assume that the man’s name was Steve. 

It was eerily familiar.

And with that, he hopped out of the window. He made sure that it was securely shut before carefully scaling his way back down until it was safe to hop down to the pavement below.

The next day, he was out an about. Though, the day was much cooler than he had expected. Even so, he kept his cap on as he entered the Smithsonian.

He looked around, intrigued by all of the artifacts and screens that showed quite a bit of interesting info.

When he turned the corner, he froze. He spotted the same man who had been in the hospital the day before. Steve.

It was a surprise to see him out of the hospital this fast, but he was relieved nevertheless. 

Bucky just stood there, watching as Steve stood before his own memorial. And although he couldn’t see his complete face, he could tell that the man was pretty down. Just thinking of the man feeling sad sparked a strange feeling in his chest. One of worry and wanting to wipe that expression off of his face.

He watched as the man turned around. It was there that he could see the guilt wracking his expression.

It was a few minutes later. The man, Steve, had just exited the building. Bucky stayed around for a few more minutes. But it was barely 2 minutes since Steve left the building that gunshots rang out outside and the sound of glass shattering and people’s panicked screams filled his ears.

A sudden sense of fear and dread washed over him. Bucky found himself sprinting toward the exit, not failing to spot the large group of black vans blocking the road outside.

One word came to his mind.

HYDRA.

Of course, it could be some other terroristic group that happen to have black vans, but Bucky’s instinct told him it was HYDRA.

He didn’t completely expose himself to the outside world. Instead, he peered around the edge nervously, spotting the disturbing scene in front of him. One which also filled him with a sudden rage and anger toward his former captors.

It was indeed HYDRA. And it was clear that Rumlow was there along with them. Though, he seemed more beaten than usual. Bucky was surprised at how he had survived the Helicarrier collision with the building. But from what he could tell, he had scars and burns covering the majority of his face.

He also didn’t fail to notice how they had Steve pinned to the ground, blood dripping from his nose. Just seeing the blood made Bucky want to kill every single HYDRA agent left alive. Because no one hurt Steve.

Where that thought came from he also had no idea. But he went along with it.

He could faintly make out the words that were being exchanged between them. Some more disturbing than others.

“How nice to see you again, Rogers,” Rumlow said with a disturbing grin. 

Steve looked up, eyes slightly widened in surprise. “Rumlow? How the hell are you still alive?”

Said man chuckled. “I shouldn’t be, actually. Since you bastards left me for dead.” He stopped for a moment, as if thinking. He looked back down at Steve.

“Since I’m going to assume you are not aware of our missing Asset’s location, I think it would best to fit in a..replacement.”

Bucky felt his heart stutter to a stop.

Like hell he’d let them get away with that.

Silently, he kept himself pressed against the side of the building as he made his way toward a closer alley, being careful as to not be seen.

“Hell no,” He heard Steve shout. Then he heard the disturbing click of a gun.

“Too bad,” Rumlow smiled. “I would have loved to have some fun.”

Bucky had to make his move quickly. Or else Steve was going to die. And like hell he’d let that come to tuition.

If he died, then fine. But it was Steve and only Steve he was worried about.

He heard Rumlow yell out in surprise, and then heard the sound of a body hit the ground. He peeked around the corner and saw Steve smash Rumlow into the pavement. The other agents instinctively charged at him, but were fended off easily. 

A gun went off. Bucky saw Steve stumble.

And then he couldn’t take it anymore. Bucky jumped out from his hiding spot and grabbed the agent who had shot Steve by the throat. With terrifying ease, the bones in the man’s neck snapped and he fell to the ground.

Steve was too busy fighting with Rumlow to take notice of his presence. Though, Steve seemed to be getting the upper hand despite a bullet wound to his leg.

Until Rumlow used that as his weakness. He easily tripped Rogers, who hit his face off of the ground pretty roughly. He slowly got back to his feet, though.

Rumlow was about to fire another bullet, but Bucky was charging toward them.

“NO!” Bucky yelled, quickly maneuvering himself in front of Steve just as the bullet fired. He tackled him, shielding him with his own metal arm as he got up, not yet aware of the wound he had received, and tore the gun from Rumlow’s hands.

Before the man could say anything, Barnes lifted the gun and pulled the trigger.

Rumlow fell in an instant.

Breathing heavily, Bucky dropped the gun to the ground and turned to inspect Steve’s injuries. 

“Are you okay?”

Steve looked up, originally in confusion, but it turned to shock. His jaw hung ajar for a solid 5 seconds.

“Bucky?”

Bucky was now aware of the hidden pain now beginning to reveal itself as the adrenaline wore off.

From what it felt like, it was a pretty bad wound.

He stumbled, feeling his eyes widen in the shock of what had just happened.

Steve rushed forward and caught him in his arms just as his knees buckled.

“Bucky!” He gasped, tightening his grip on his injured friend, whom he had been about to go on a search for. “Oh my god—“

Bucky felt himself shudder, eyes slowly drifting up to Steve’s face. And in a sudden twisted cost, felt his memories fading back quicker than he could have thought possible. It definitely did have an emotional effect on him.

His eyes suddenly widened and be felt the hot sting of tears starting to build up behind them.

“Steve? I-it’s..is it-“

“Yeah, it’s m-me..” Steve choked, cradling his friend’s head.

Bucky felt the tears start to escape.

“I-I thought you..They said that you—“ He reached a shaking hand up to touch Steve’s face, as if to reassure himself that he was real.

“I’m alive, Buck..I swear. I’m r-right here..”

Bucky felt himself cough, blood starting to drip from his mouth. “I-I missed you..” He was aware that he was coming close to sobbing. And just as soon as he thought that, his walls completely shattered.

“I missed you..so much..” He cried, clutching onto Steve as tightly as his dwindling strength would allow him.

Steve sobbed, clutching onto his friend with matching strength. “I missed you, too..“ He looked down at the blood oozing from his best friend’s wound, then around at any bystanders. 

“Help! Someone help me!”

“Steve...”

The voice was so suddenly weak and small he barely heard it. But he managed to, and looked down at Bucky. He was starting to lose his fight, and fast.

“I-I’m sorry...”

“N-no, it’s okay..” Steve said. “This isn’t your fault..”

“I-I just found you again..” Bucky’s voice broke. “I just found you again..” He repeated, body shuddering. “I don’t want to leave you..“

“Y-You’ll be fine..” Steve reassured him, desperately putting pressure on the wound. But the blood easily leaked through his fingers. Bucky drew in a breath and whimpered, his hand reaching up and squeezing Steve’s.

They were both suddenly fearfully aware of how fast Bucky’s breathing was slowing. 

“S-Steve..” Bucky sobbed, leaning into the touch of his best friend. “Steve...”

“Don’t leave me..” Steve begged. “I was just about to come search for you..please-“

Bucky, though hesitant, reached his metal hand up and brushed one of his fingers against Steve’s cheek. And while he was glad that he finally found Steve, much more than anyone would know, he didn’t want to leave him.

“Steve..” He groaned, gasping heavily to draw in enough breath. “I’m sorry...I’m sorry I’m sorry—“

He coughed harshly, and then it was like all the breath was cut from his lungs. Because his body suddenly jerked, and he couldn’t draw in air whatsoever.

“Bucky-!” Steve cried.

But the man sat there, not making a sound as he desperately grabbed at the helm of Steve’s shirt with wide, terrified eyes.

Steve’s horrified gaze never left Bucky as his attempts began to weaken. He watched as Bucky fought to keep his eyes open.

With one last trembling ounce of strength, Bucky stretched his flesh hand out, only for it to fall, lifeless, onto Steve’s own. But it didn’t matter, as he grabbed his friend’s hand and cried as he looked down at his friend’s blank stare.

He gathered his friend into his arms, lowered his head onto his chest, and cried.


	14. Fallen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony isn't distracted by Bucky's grab at his boot in Civil War. Things go a lot worse after that.

Rage. That's practically all Steve felt at this moment as he jumped off of the platform and wrapped his arms around both Tony and Bucky, whom he had grabbed. 

His weight was enough to drag Tony down, and then all 3 of them were falling. Bucky hit the platform just before the solid ground, while Steve fell the whole way, hitting the concrete hard and rolling down to the flat surface of the bunker.

As soon as he made contact with the ground, he knew that he had broken one of his ribs. Supersoldiers may be tough, but they aren't invincible. 

Gasping in pain, Steve slowly pushed himself up off of the ground, staggering to his feet. He quickly noticed Tony standing atop the ramp ahead of him, looking down at him through that familiar iron mask. 

"This won't change what happened," Steve wearily pointed out, gasping as he regained his breath. 

"I don't care," Tony replied. "He killed my mom."

And then the fight continued. Tony lunged down toward him, iron fist raised and ready to strike. He landed right in front of Steve, who managed to land a punch at the side of the helmet. His knuckles stung afterward, but he didn't care. He repeatedly punched the suit, desperate to keep his friend safe.

He grunted as he spun around, wrapping his arms around the suit's neck as he attempted to pull the helmet right off of him. But Tony lifted himself into the air, forcing Steve to let go as he fell onto his back into a vulnerable position. Instinctively, he raised his arms to his face to protect himself, grabbing and moving Tony's arms as he struggled to keep him from landing a hit. Though, he did successfully landed a few.

Steve laid there, still fighting Tony when Bucky jumped from behind and slammed the shield into his back. Tony backed off for a moment, just enough for Bucky to throw the shield to Steve, who caught it. 

They both quickly got on both sides of Tony, hitting him whenever they could. They kicked, punched, and threw the shield to each other to hit him with as well. But Steve was late at receiving the shield, leaving himself completely open and vulnerable to attack. The blast to his abdomen sent him flying into the wall and crashing into the ground, which only seemed to enrage Bucky.

Barnes rushed Tony instantly, slamming him against the wall and pushing his helmet to the side with his flesh arm while he went and tried to shut down Tony's suit. He yelled out in rage as he did so, until it suddenly lit up and blew his metal arm right off.

Gasping and in pain, Bucky fell to his knees, looking over to the remains of his metal arm in horror and disbelief. The blast that slammed into his back sent him to the ground and into unconsciousness.

Steve quickly recovered and got to his feet, slamming his fist into Tony's suit as he grabbed his shield. 

For a few moments, Steve was getting the upper hand, until Tony suddenly grabbed his shield, punched him in the face, and sent a blast to his gut. He fell to his knees beside his unconscious friend, sitting back on his heels as he looked up at Tony, blood staining the side of his mouth and nose. 

"He's my friend.."

Tony glared at him through the helmet. "So was I."

He slammed his fist into the side of Steve's face multiple times, sending him to his hands and knees as he coughed out specks of blood. He was then grabbed by the straps on his suit and thrown over toward the edge of the bunker, struggling to get to his feet.

"Stay down. Final warning," Tony warned, watching him. He really did not need to resort to killing him.

Steve got to his feet, wiping off the blood from his face before raising his fists. "I can do this all day."

Tony raised his hand.

Bucky made a desperate grab for his boot, but much to his horror, Tony didn't even acknowledge him.

The blast hit Steve square in the chest and he just managed to widen his eyes in realization before he was sent backward violently. He lost his footing and fell.

Bucky's eyes shot open.

"STEVE!" He screamed, voice raw. 

In a sudden desperation he didn't know he had, and with only one arm now, he forced himself to his shaking legs, shoving passed a frozen Tony until he got to the edge.

He looked down, feeling the panicked tears breaking free. "STEVE!"

Barnes felt the dread crawling up his spine.

He dropped to his knees.

"No. No no no no no no-" He repeated, voice becoming more and more desperate. "Please no-"

A sudden growl ripped from his throat as he got to his feet, tears still streaking his face. He turned and glared at Stark.

"You-YOU BASTARD!"

He knew he was in no condition to fight, so he resulted in his angered screams instead. "HE WAS YOUR FRIEND!"

Tony looked away, his gaze drifting somewhere Bucky couldn't make out from behind the mask.

"Be lucky I didn't kill you.." He said, before walking away.

Bucky watched as Tony left the bunker, leaving him to sit there alone.

Once it went completely silent, he lowered his head and started to sob. 

Steve was dead.

Steve was dead because of him.

It was all his fault. 

He slammed his flesh hand into the ground once more, bringing his knees up to his chest and resting his head on them.

"Steve, I'm sorry..Steve, I'm so sorry-"

Another broken sob tore itself free from his throat.


	15. Drowning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve tends to put up a brave front when it comes to Bucky. But he’s more beaten up and damaged when he’s alone. One night Bucky stumbles across this after being awoken by a nightmare.

By the time Steven Rogers stumbled into his apartment, which he shared with Bucky, it was late. And by late, it was about midnight.

He was favoring his left side after taking a pretty brutal beating during his mission. Not to mention the various bruises covering his chest, though they were hidden by his shirt.

Of course, Bucky was awake and came rushing into the room upon hearing the door squeak open and then click shut. His brows furrowed in concern when he saw the state that his friend was in.

“Are you okay?” He asked, making his way over toward his friend. He wrapped a hand around his back to support him as they made their way toward the bedroom.

“I’m fine,” Steve winced as he lowered himself down onto the edge of the bed. He sucked in a sharp breath and winced as he lifted his arms to pull off his shirt. Bucky was quick to assist.

“Thanks..” Steve muttered.

Bucky was about to say something but froze. He was stuck staring at the variety of bruises covering his friend’s chest. “How did you get these?”

He looked at his friend’s back, relieved to find that there was no further bruising, but turned back to his friend worried nonetheless.

Steve sighed. “Mission gone wrong, I guess?”

Barnes huffed, then rolled his eyes. “You need to be more careful, Steve. One of these days you’re going to get yourself killed.”

And he did not need to experience that.

Steve looked up at him and muttered a small apology before Bucky got to his feet. “I’ll go get you some ice.”

Steve nodded and waited as Bucky left the room. He returned only a few moments later with an ice-pack, handing it to Steve. “Here.”

The man placed the ice over the litter of bruises covering his front. He winced at the sudden cool touch as Bucky sat down beside him.

“You gonna be okay?” Barnes asked softly as he rested a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

Steve gave him a small grin. “I’ll be fine. Might be a bit sore tomorrow, but I’ve had worse.”

Bucky nodded and stood up to retreat to the other bedroom in the apartment.

After a few minutes had passed, Steve sat the ice pack on the bedside table, throwing a shirt back on before sitting up in bed. And it was then that his thoughts began to invade his mind. He couldn’t help but remind himself of the guilt he felt when Bucky fell off the train, or when he found out he was the winter soldier and learned of the torture he endured.

He shook his head and mentally sighed as he rested his palm against his forehead. Typically, he put up a strong front for Buck. But when he was alone, the walls he was struggling to hold up practically shattered and he forced himself to rebuild them the following day.

Right now was one of those moments when the walls broke.

He felt the tears long before they even made themselves known. They slipped down his face as his breath hitched and he quickly rested his head on his knee.

It hurt often to be reminded that you were in a completely different time period that you were accustomed to, and yet your physical age didn’t change. And it also hurt to learn that for all those 70 years he was asleep, his best friend was being tortured into becoming the Winter Soldier.

That made it worse.

Not to mention that everyone from his past was practically dead except for Bucky.

He was all he had left.

Steve lost track of the time. But he knew he had been sitting there for hours and he could feel the exhaustion tugging at his features.

But all that time, and the tears and thoughts never ceased, and at one point a small, quiet sob broke free of his throat.

“I’m sorry, Buck..” He whispered.

He was caught off-guard when the door to his room opened. He didn’t need to look to know who it was.

‘ Damn it.. ‘ He thought.

Footsteps made their way over toward the bed before a hesitant and trembling voice spoke out. 

“Steve?”

Steve tried to wipe away his own tears and calm his own shaking, but he knew that Bucky caught on because he felt the bed sink beside him and felt a hand on his back.

“Steve!” Bucky repeated, this time much stronger. “What’s wrong?” 

Steve shakily exhaled. “It’s nothing, Buck,” He whispered. “I’m fine.”

“You’re going to try harder then that, Steve,” Bucky said. “I’m not that dumb.”

Steve said nothing, and Bucky’s brows furrowed in concern. “Steve..”

“I’m s-sorry, Buck..” Steve finally spoke, voice raw with emotion. “I’m so sorry..”

“For what?” Barnes asked, confused.

“For everything that happened to you..” Steve replied in a whisper. “I should have been there..I-I was stupid-I let you fall-“

Bucky’s eyes shot open and he shook his head, instantly pulling his life-long best friend into a tight hug.

“What? No-No, Steve. None of that’s your fault,” He said into his friend’s shoulder. “You couldn’t have done anything..”

“I could have tried to do something—I could have went down to look.” 

Bucky felt his eyes begin to water as he shook his head and tightened his grip. Has Steve been suffering this entire time by blaming himself and be never knew?

What a friend he was.

Steve shouldn’t be suffering. It’s—He’s Steve! He doesn’t deserve this. He deserves all of the good things. Suffering does not belong on that list.

“Steve, I’m right here..” Barnes assured him. “And I’m not going anywhere. Nothing of what happened to me is your fault. None of it.”

There was a moment of silence as Barnes pulled back.

“How long has this been going on?”

Bucky’s voice was so quiet that Steve almost missed the question, but flinched nonetheless.

He intertwined his fingers, avoiding his friend’s gaze.

“Awhile..before I found out you were alive.”

Bucky felt his heart shatter at that. Steve has been suffering for that long? 

Curse himself for not being here for him.

“Damn it..” Bucky cursed. “I’m so sorry, Steve..I should have been here for you. Then you wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“No..no, it’s not your fault..” Steve muttered. “I—“ 

Bucky noticed, with a growing pain in his chest, that Steve was breaking down.

And all of it was because of him.

“Steve—Steve, no..” 

A broken sob tore free of his best friend’s throat and Bucky instantly pulled Steve into his arms, running his metal hand gingerly through his hair.

Steve clutched onto Bucky like a lifeline. Barnes could feel the hitch of Steve’s chest as he sobbed.

“It’s okay, Steve..” He assured him. “I promise, it’s okay..”

“But I should have..I should have done something..” Steve choked, voice raw. 

“In all honesty, I’m glad it was me instead of you,” Bucky said, keeping his grip on his best friend strong. “I would have jumped right after you if you had fell.”

Steve‘a gaze lowered. “Just like what I should have done. But I didn’t..“

Bucky noticed his misstep and silently cursed himself, yet still not letting up on his grip as he rubbed circles on his friend’s back.

“Hell no, Steve. I’m glad you didn’t jump after me. You would have gotten hurt too and I don’t know if I’d be able to handle that.”

There was a few moments of silence before Bucky spoke up again, pulling away and wiping a tear from his friend’s cheek.

“Do you want me to sleep with you?” He asked.

Steve was hesitant to answer. He didn’t really want to admit to such a weakness, but he knew that having Bucky with him would probably make him feel much better. So he nodded his head.

Bucky smiled. “I would have stayed either way. You ain’t getting rid of me that easily.”

He felt a sense of pride within himself when he saw the corner of Steve’s lips twitch up into a small smile.

They both laid down, Bucky quickly scooting over toward Steve and laying his arm protectively over his chest. They both fell asleep fairly quickly.

It was the most peaceful sleep either of them had in a long time.


End file.
